The following is as far as I got on a 5-minute talk I had to prepare for Young Ambassadors...Erika reminded me why I really wrote it, probably for this time in my life.
God has a plan for us
One of the most powerful images my mother ever instilled in me was as she explained a passage in her patriarchal blessing which read, “Before you left His presence He explained very carefully to you those things He expected of you in this life, and He will reveal them to you as you prepare yourself for them.” I’m sure there were many times that she strained to remember that illuminating conversation between her and her Heavenly Father, yearning for the clarity to make difficult decisions in her life. I know in my own life I wish I could remember exactly what my Heavenly father expected of me, wanting to know how I could best endure the trials set upon me in this life.
In an attempt to reconstruct a basic plan for my life I once asked my mother in exasperation what Heavenly Father wanted me to do with my life, because I had, afterall, tried everything and couldn’t find a way to please him as was evident by my miserable situation! I was of course under the assumption that he had a verbatim plan for me and if I were to somehow follow it exactly I would find perfect fulfillment and happiness. After careful consideration, for I had often depended heavily on her to be my steward in spiritual guidance, she simply told me that Heavenly Father wanted me to be happy. I was skeptical. It seemed a simple answer, but one that changed my perspective on how I looked at the meaning of life. After holding to the iron rod, Lehi, in his prolific dream, comes upon the Tree of Life which symbolizes eternal life and joy. The scripture Nephi 8:10 reads “And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.” It seemed that God’s plan all along was offer us something that would make us happy.
As a junior in high school I was once actually paying attention to a lesson in seminary. We were studying Abraham 3:22-23, “22. Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones; 23. And God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These I will make me rulers; for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and he said unto me: Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou wast born.” I was immediately alarmed and worried. I panicked as I thought perhaps I was not one of these noble and great ones. Was I just a cipher on the wall, not even brave at all? If anyone is in doubt what a cipher means in that lyric from Saturday’s Warrior it’s literally zero, or “one having no influence or value; a nonentity.”
I remember clearly that evening kneeling down on my knees asking Heavenly Father whether or not I was special. Was I one of the chosen ones or was I just one of the trillions of His “filler” children to bulk up the rest of the population for variety (I always sort of felt sorry for the gentiles in the Old Testament). I must say that that experience produced one of the most direct answers I have ever received from our Heavenly Father. I was prompted to retrieve my patriarchal blessing, something I had not looked at for probably a year or so. In the blessing after asking for His spirit to reside and declaring my lineage, this was the very first line: “You are fortunate to be on earth at a time when the Lord has need of special spirits. Your presence here on earth now is indicative of a faithful sojourn in the pre-existence where you were numbered among the noble and great spirits reserved to come forth in this time of the earth’s journey.”
Hopefully I will redeem my status.
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