I wrote this back in December and just came upon it now at an important juncture in my life and my faith. I think I didn't post it then because I felt my thoughts weren't entirely formed and I obviously didn't have any answers. My next entry may...
December 29th, 2013:
I have problems. Mostly problems of conscience. I know many, many women have written about this subject and I doubt there's anything new that I could add to it. I do suppose, however, that nobody has my exact perspective maybe adding to the depth of the kinds of women who have this problem will be expanded...
A woman having it all sounds too good to be true. It is, only because anyone "having it all" is virtually impossible too, even men! Why can't we focus on people having enough, because having it all sounds so exhausting I just fell asleep at the keyboard....which I love to use 'cause of the click-click-clicking my fingers and fingernails make....I digress.
If you are looking for citations you will not find them as I am in the opinion business and not the fact business so I'm sorry to those of you who cannot in good conscience quote my wise musings without a reference standing behind it. Here's the deal. I don't think women have always been subjugated. I remember growing up asking whether or not we had a Heavenly Mother as well and my parents teaching me that her name was kept sacred from us so that we would not use it in vain the way "Oh my g*d" is used like every ten seconds nowadays. I still struggle understanding why we can't know Her better to this day, I mean, it seemed to me then and sometimes still today that She is not important enough for us to know her.
When perusing FB earlier, I came upon an article discussing new evidence that Jesus had a wife. In the LDS church many of us believe that Christ was married in order to fulfill a covenant that we all must enter into in order to receive eternal exaltation. (Want more info about that? I can give your info to two teenagers in church gear.) But why are we just getting information about that now? Where did all that information go about the wife of Jesus? Again, it was probably lost and "forgotten" in order to guard her from negative attention. But it is difficult to feel important when one is not known.
I'm sure that Heavenly Father wants us all to feel important so that our thoughts will be validated and our actions hailed as awesome. It is SO hard not to want this thing. But let me tell you what, the women I most admire are the ones who are usually quiet and who endure. They don't care about how many hits they get on their blogosphere or how many hearts an instagram photo gets. They already know who they are and what they want. They are the ones who steadily push forward in pursuit of their passions and find meaning in what they do because their actions are meaningful.
Now lets talk about kids. I am actually slightly ambivalent about having them (not that I have a choice right now). I do want them, but then I go to church and others' noisy, sticky, homely children make me think again. BUT, then I hold a sleepy newborn and its like, yup, this is what I'm supposed to do. Here's the thing that terrifies me the most, I feel that women aren't striving to "have it all" I think they're demanded to "do it all" as in have every single responsibility ever. Breadwinner, baby oven, snot-nose cleaner, amazing blogress, fitness model, culinary artiste, creative genius, financial accountant....its totally obnoxious.
Women who are projected to have this lifestyle I don't believe in. Like Santa, this woman is a myth. There is NO WAY you have everything you want. I have seen (and judged!) women who seem to have this perfect life and I'm like, what is missing, what will the consequences be later on when the children realize they didn't get the same amount of attention that other kids did? On the flip side I've seen stay-at-home mothers who need to get a frickin' life and stop coddling their future off-spring into douches or helpless little beings that douches prey upon. There is a 3rd subset of women who are forced into one choice or the other (career or SAHM) out of economic necessity and the grass is certainly always greener on the other side.
So what's the solution?
December 29th, 2013:
I have problems. Mostly problems of conscience. I know many, many women have written about this subject and I doubt there's anything new that I could add to it. I do suppose, however, that nobody has my exact perspective maybe adding to the depth of the kinds of women who have this problem will be expanded...
A woman having it all sounds too good to be true. It is, only because anyone "having it all" is virtually impossible too, even men! Why can't we focus on people having enough, because having it all sounds so exhausting I just fell asleep at the keyboard....which I love to use 'cause of the click-click-clicking my fingers and fingernails make....I digress.
If you are looking for citations you will not find them as I am in the opinion business and not the fact business so I'm sorry to those of you who cannot in good conscience quote my wise musings without a reference standing behind it. Here's the deal. I don't think women have always been subjugated. I remember growing up asking whether or not we had a Heavenly Mother as well and my parents teaching me that her name was kept sacred from us so that we would not use it in vain the way "Oh my g*d" is used like every ten seconds nowadays. I still struggle understanding why we can't know Her better to this day, I mean, it seemed to me then and sometimes still today that She is not important enough for us to know her.
When perusing FB earlier, I came upon an article discussing new evidence that Jesus had a wife. In the LDS church many of us believe that Christ was married in order to fulfill a covenant that we all must enter into in order to receive eternal exaltation. (Want more info about that? I can give your info to two teenagers in church gear.) But why are we just getting information about that now? Where did all that information go about the wife of Jesus? Again, it was probably lost and "forgotten" in order to guard her from negative attention. But it is difficult to feel important when one is not known.
I'm sure that Heavenly Father wants us all to feel important so that our thoughts will be validated and our actions hailed as awesome. It is SO hard not to want this thing. But let me tell you what, the women I most admire are the ones who are usually quiet and who endure. They don't care about how many hits they get on their blogosphere or how many hearts an instagram photo gets. They already know who they are and what they want. They are the ones who steadily push forward in pursuit of their passions and find meaning in what they do because their actions are meaningful.
Now lets talk about kids. I am actually slightly ambivalent about having them (not that I have a choice right now). I do want them, but then I go to church and others' noisy, sticky, homely children make me think again. BUT, then I hold a sleepy newborn and its like, yup, this is what I'm supposed to do. Here's the thing that terrifies me the most, I feel that women aren't striving to "have it all" I think they're demanded to "do it all" as in have every single responsibility ever. Breadwinner, baby oven, snot-nose cleaner, amazing blogress, fitness model, culinary artiste, creative genius, financial accountant....its totally obnoxious.
Women who are projected to have this lifestyle I don't believe in. Like Santa, this woman is a myth. There is NO WAY you have everything you want. I have seen (and judged!) women who seem to have this perfect life and I'm like, what is missing, what will the consequences be later on when the children realize they didn't get the same amount of attention that other kids did? On the flip side I've seen stay-at-home mothers who need to get a frickin' life and stop coddling their future off-spring into douches or helpless little beings that douches prey upon. There is a 3rd subset of women who are forced into one choice or the other (career or SAHM) out of economic necessity and the grass is certainly always greener on the other side.
So what's the solution?
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