Sometimes...I just get the urge to google who my future husband will be. I don't really know how to explain this, but I think it has to do with at any given time wanting to know almost anything I don't already, turning to google for assistance. Seriously, this method of finding out my path in life has crossed my mind at least 4-5 times in the last half a year. Some of those times were checking on facebook, like a person search...then I realize I don't know his name...or what he looks like...and that I most likely haven't met him yet. I understand this is really weird, but it makes me realize what affect computers have truly had on my life, its not really the same as searching "black cocktail dress sleeves" and clicking images to see my options...
On a less creepy note, I'm starting this thing with this new guy. One may have noticed the less-than-bitter first paragraph and thought that something is up, well it is. It's just nice being respected...and being seen...instead of idolized, ignored or abused. Its only been a short time, but I've had more in common, more talking, more respect and comparatively less making out than all my previous "boyfriends" combined! And he's damn cute and really funny!! I'm almost uncomfortable with the healthiness of it, like obese people who've let themselves go and have to exercise or they'll die...I need this or I think I would have self-destructed beyond repair, but it's still slightly disconcerting to feel good; hopefully this feeling will not stick around too long. Still I think this relationship will present its own challenges along the way given some of our contrasts in age, background, and place in school. It's ok though, like I said, so nice. Thanks boy :)
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